caringscreeepy

woo

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 01:11:10 GMT

so yeaah the verdict is that im pretty bad at keeping up with this~

ive been going to the beach a lot....i love it. im suuuuppa tan and shit now. watch out..
i've stopped talking to all the stupid pppl in my life... and im really proud of myself..
valentinez day sucked omg..well it does every fucking year. but like this year i felt esp lonely..
except for the chorusgram from nick...haahahahahha.

so things usually get good around this time of year for me..and everyone..else too
:)

four word letter

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 00:48:18 GMT

hmmmm..
school keeps getting worse. my social life is falling apart. but at least i'm getting myself back. it feels so good to be back. so so good. thank god for music<3 right now it feels thats all i really need.

all over you

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 09:00:32 GMT

so right now there's only one thing from keeping me happy..

i feel like i know you. and you're everything i've ever wanted..maybe thats why i want you to notice me so bad.
):

The quiet things that no one ever knows.

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 17:45:18 GMT

Someone should really invent a time machine.

I used to be able to talk on the phone with anyone and be happy..now it only irritates me and I end up hanging up on whoever it is. I used to think just hanging out with my sister was fun but now we usually end up in a big fight. I've become really stubborn. I used to be more tolerant and I used to be able to listen to peoples opinions and not shoot them down right away. I've managed to lose almost every single girlfriend I ever made. I used to have someone I could talk to about all of this..but that person no longer cares. Guys don't even look at me anymore. I guess everyone around me has noticed this and I've suddenly become completely invisible to everyone. Everyone only seems to have negative things to say. I'm glad I stopped caring a long time ago or I'd be a total mess right now.

No one really seems me as a real person anymore..and I've lost all respect from everyone. Its like everyone thinks they can just play around with me, hurt me, treat me like shit and then expect to take them back.

Well it doesn't work like that..

the first day of my life

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:29:53 GMT

So this is problably the tenth of these I've made. But I don't even think anyone bothers to read this anyways. This is kind of more for...myself. So right now..
the good:I've managed to bring my grades up and pass all my midterms.. I actually don't hate going to school as much as I used to. I've made a small weird little group of friends. We're all just really strange. Of course everyone at school is still getting used to me and I still have people chasing me around trying to look at my neck piercing but I've managed to get a few people to see that I'm actually kind of nice. Things with my parents are really good right now. They've backed off a little and have given me a little more space. I just can't wait till the day I finally get the fuck out of here for fucking good.

the bad: For a period of time, I lost myself completely. I just didn't care about anything or anyone and I had no clue what the fuck I was doing with myself. I'm still confused so I'm trying to lay low right now until I get everything figured out. I tried dating again and that turned into a mess. I really think I'm too nice but I can't help it. I wish I could stop to stop seeing the good in people all the time. People only do whats good for them, and thats that.

the good!:
I GOT A NEEWWWW IPODD AAAAH. I'm so obssesed. I sat for 7 hours dowloading every song I wanted(which is a lot) and now that thing never leaves my side:)

I've been thinking a lot about moving.. It'd be so nice to start all over again.
I've not only been changing mentally..I guess I've put myself together a little more. I stopped dying my hair crazy colors and fucking it up and I feel a lot healthier than I used to. Things are much better when you stop caring about the way you look. Honestly I fucking hate make up and clothes, if it was my choice I wouldn't wear either.

And of course..boys...suck. I cant help but feeling really alone. I just wish I had somebody there but I can't settle for just anybody.. I think I deserve someone better than the ones I've had in the past. So I guess I've raised my standards. I'm not going to be happy until I meet someone that satisfies me:) But you can still try:)